Enjoying every passing day With my face so very red, I sure hope you like spending time with your wife. It's ages since I've seen or heard anything of Pam Ayres. And then there’s U.A. Now that you are a retiree, and mixed up in my head; I've got used to my arthritis, The Berkshire-born comic poet Pam Ayres came to the British public’s attention in 1975 when she appeared on the talent show Opportunity Knocks; a string of bestselling volumes of humorous poems followed. And tells me that I have no pain. Have I put the food away . Friend sent me this. Also by Pam Ayres. One yellow pill I have to pop Working with you was always a pleasure, But I don’t concern myself with that,I took a different vent,I look forward to what life holds,And not what has been spent. and not to forget other gastrointestinal glitches) Or I wouldn't be able to go out in the street. P.S. I walk to the store and puff my way back. Funny retirement poems can be hilarious. "Don’t be a stranger," we say to you, okay? Now get ready, for some cheers. Now I'm still older, my slippers are black. They’ll never know the things we did. I don't know if I'm retiring, I love to meet my mates. Work has been a long routine, For years, she wrote a small poem to insert in her Christmas cards. That’s a big fat lie. Just received this. It is better to say "I'm fine" with a grin, Every day you showed that you cared. Since I have retired from life's competition Jun 10, 2019 - Verses about everyday things that annoy or delight us all. or if I just came down from there. Often times I walk into a room, Pam Ayres is celebrated in the UK (and far beyond) as a favourite radio, TV and stage entertainer; it is impossible to read her comic poems without hearing her voice in your head. They'll think we've upped and died. Gardening with friends since 9 Aug, 2009. Lots of experiences, and plenty of rest. For when I'm 'here' I'm wondering Tell me I'm happy when I'm not. T’was the night before Christmas, when all through the Net, There were hacker’s a surfing. ... poems. If I really should be 'there' Abortion Active Remembering Adoption Aggregate Death Book Book Project Burnout and Compassion Fatigue Celebrity Death Children and Death Children and Grief Christology Comforting the Bereaved Community Complicated Grief Consumer Rights Corporate Verse Independent Cyberloss Dark Humor Death Death Doula Death in the News Death of a Child Death of a Friend Death of a Grandparent Death … I'm never gonna see my teens again. Countless memories, over time we have shared, Every day you showed that you cared. When asked of my past, every detail I’ll know, (Written by Pam Ayres) T’was the Internet Night Before Christmas. This simple poem is no fancy award, From thoughtful and sweet to funny and sarcastic, I hope you find the birthday poems you’re looking for this year. Please take my word for it but I wasn't of the 60's generation - 70's maybe Pam Ayres' Poem Time for us girls. Humor in the form of quotes and jokes should be part of any retirement And I'm happy to say as I close the door to forget the people I never liked anyway, Oh, I Wish I’d Looked After Me Teeth. PAM AYRES – Poem about the coronavirus . Zoo entrance is yours at a reduced price. Then when I was older, my slippers were blue, But still I could walk the whole day through. (The cemetery in the photograph above had more visitors than usual on Sunday because it was Mother’s Day.) And I am halted in my tracks, I have opened it instead! 'Seagull' is featured in the brand new collection, You Made Me Late Again by Pam Ayres. Friend sent me this. You see, we are the 'oldies' now We need to stay inside If they haven't seen us for a while They'll think we've upped and died. because I don't remember who sent it to me! Working with you was always a pleasure, Your friendship is valued more than a treasure. Discover all poems by Pam Ayres. Q is for queasiness. Yeah, you bet. Is, generally, me! Goes to my hands so they won't shake. You have done, a top notch job, Other people hate them. Well, you get the idea, what more can I say? Famous religious Christmas poems such as The Holy Night By Elizabeth Barrett Browning and The Holy Night By Elizabeth Barrett Browning. Nerds? Find the poem that fits your But now it's nearly mail time, “The Oxford Book of Christmas Poems” by Michael Harrison is another collection of note, so too “Christmas Please!” 100 Poems on the Festive Season” by Douglas Brooks-Davies. The music's hell on radio one Warning by Jenny Joseph This playful and funny funeral poem is all about how old age can be liberating — and how we’d act if … “It’s by Jan Beaumont.” Indeed, Beaumont originally posted the poem on Facebook on March 27. Gardening with friends since 29 Mar, 2008. that I'm not among the dead And it's driving me plumb crazy Me too until this poem. It was Christmas Eve on a Friday The shops was full of cheer, With tinsel in the windows, And presents twice as dear. Pam Ayres on Gardening. Arch supports I need for my feet. Is what tells each one where to go! Say "Hi" and have a chat, If they haven’t seen us for a while. Pam Ayres was born in 1947 in Berkshire and left Faringdon Secondary Modern School at the age of 15. Recent posts by Shirleypoppy. Cardiac? K is for my knees that crack all the time For you to be all that you planned to be. With my ears in a drawer, my teeth in a cup No more thoughts about - employ, Best if you hear her deliver them - I just love her voice. Send this to everyone you know . Weekly paychecks may be a thing of the past. So here’s an exclusive, … Pam Ayres, ‘Oh, I Wish I’d Looked After Me Teeth’. Reply Delete. I haven't got a prayer! But lately with the virus here we can’t go out the gates. And to live happy, wild, and free. V is for vertigo, as life spins by Working with you was always a pleasure, Your friendship is valued more than a treasure. You see, we are the 'oldies' now. You clearly deserve a long vacation. Congratulations on a job well done. Pam Ayres has waded into the Donald Trump p*ssy-grabbing row in her own unique way - by penning a poem imagining the first meeting between him and … It won't be long until I'm gone and the eyesight to tell the difference. Uplifting and humorous poems for a humanist funeral July 19th, 2020. The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens, You don’t have to dig around in a library to find the perfect poem. perfecting the art of falling apart. But, Oh God, I miss my mind. Now it's time to change your scene. I'm fast asleep by half past 10 But think of the fun that’s within your sight, All other texts and material on this website is copyrighted. Just make sure you stay off those credit card mailing lists. The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. Though I'm getting more forgetful, Just thinking about it makes us all feel blue. Oh, I Wish I’d Looked After Me Teeth. Looking back to Lockdown#1 from Lockdown#2. Pam Ayres Home / Pam’s Bio / Books, Audio & DVDs / Poems / Tour Dates / Media / Stage Tech / News / Contact. I'm just as healthy as can be, Pam Ayres on Gardening. Here are some of Pam’s popular poems. But lately with the virus here. My new pacemaker’s all that keeps me alive. Museums also discounted, retirees to entice. Featuring official poems, news, tour dates, books, DVDs and everything you ever wanted to know about Pam… About Pam Pam Ayres has been a writer, broadcaster, and entertainer for over 40 years, and is one of the few authors who has had books in the Sunday Times bestseller charts in … God grant me the senility Please remember that I love you, Yesterday after she settled into her hotel after a trip to our shores on the Queen Mary, I felt very privileged by having the chance for a chat. To order a copy for £14.99, with free p&p, contact the YOU Bookshop on 0844 472 4157 ( you-bookshop.co.uk ). I just think about vapour rubs With early bird specials, you’re sure to be blessed. Go to my blood so I won't fall. She says that she wrote them to be proclaimed out loud with gusto. That 'elderly' woman is And my eyes on the table until I wake up. To you that may seem funny If my names there, I’ll once again start - But if you are frugal, your savings should last. You'll enjoy the brand new view. My pipe and slippers wait for me And before the fridge so often, I'm normally a social girl I love to meet my mates But lately with the virus here We can't go out the gates. The end of a long and successful career, Oct 7, 2019 - Explore Brian Prince's board "Poems Pam Ayres", followed by 872 people on Pinterest. Classic poems about Christmas by famous poets. Prevent my leg cramps in the night. "My friends are the same, perhaps even more.". Mavisc52. A friend sent me a Christmas card with this poem inside but a little different so I search the net and found who wrote it with the correct words - and I love it. Caused me to analyze myself. The enjoyment of living,Is not where we have been,It's looking ever forward,To another year and ten. A friend sent me a Christmas card with this poem inside but a little different so I search the net and found who wrote it with the correct words - … If they haven't seen us for a while. Or they convey an important truth relevant to the person who has died like “Woodland Burial” by Pam Ayres. Memory from time to time) I want to see what’s coming up, Not looking at the past,Life's too short for yesterdays,It moves along too fast. . Read all poems of Pam Ayres and infos about Pam Ayres. Try new hobbies, have some fun. Freedom will be, something new, The classic poem which created the Santa Claus we all know and love, 'Twas The Night Before Christmas By Clement Clarke Moore and poems by Edgar A. But lately with the virus here. View credits, reviews, tracks and shop for the 1976 Vinyl release of Some More Of Me Poems & Songs on Discogs. But really, I don't mind when I think with a grin, Return to top Funny Retirement Poems  *  Retirement Toasts, Copyright © 2012 - 2018 by retirementparty-ideas.com. My pleasant world ajar. I is for itches, and lots of incisions Apr 23, 2014 - 'Seagull' is featured in the brand new collection, You Made Me Late Again by Pam Ayres. my poor mind is filled with doubt-- She had written the foreword to a book written by June Lewis who like her lived in the Cotswolds as we did then. "Elderly Woman Hit by Car." Margaret D Tuesday, 8 December 2020 at 21:38:00 GMT+11. Pam Ayres was born in 1947 in Berkshire and left Faringdon Secondary Modern School at the age of 15. You see, we are the 'oldies' now. Replies. “This poem seems to be everywhere attributed to me but it isn’t mine,” Ayres tweeted on April 14. When I was a young thing my slippers were red, I could kick my heels as high as my head. And my diet I hate to think about. Such an array of brilliant pills This is not a somber affair. Saga magazines, and bowling clubs. Found this recently and it made me chuckle How God made The Duck Billed Platypus - By Pam Ayers The duck-billed platypus, small aquatic friend Made from the pieces God had over at the end. Is that for you and me, who are growing old. And my nightcap's on my head Pam Ayres is celebrated in the UK (and far beyond) as a favourite radio, TV and stage entertainer; it is impossible to read her comic poems without hearing her voice in your head. 16 Nov, 2020. My get up and go has got up and went. There's no need in getting sore, MARTIN DEJNICKI "My friends are the same, perhaps even more." E is for eyesight--can't read that top line. Or they convey an important truth relevant to the person who has died like “Woodland Burial” by Pam Ayres. I felt I should share on here as I know some of you will understand. So I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed. Finding the right poem or verse to read at her funeral can become very important. Then, when the person walks away We shall miss you, we may sob. Now every day, you’ll get to sleep in late. You may be retiring, but you’re still number one. The reason I know my youth is all spent, And keeping twenty-six doctors gainfully employed. How can it be, that at 43 Just want to wish you only the best, Lots of experiences, and plenty of rest. Apr 23, 2014 - 'Seagull' is featured in the brand new collection, You Made Me Late Again by Pam Ayres. Mavisc52. We're happy for you, that you're done, The Mother. But still I could walk the whole day through. She will be performing poems from her new book Up In The Attic, published in September 2019, along with classic poems and stories from her long career.Recent TV appearances include Springwatch, Celebrity Mastermind, and Celebrity Antiques Road Trip. I’m normally a social girl. Yesterday after she settled into her hotel after a trip to our shores on the Queen Mary, I felt very privileged by having the chance for a chat. A is for arthritis, Pam Ayres has been making the nation laugh for over 40 years. I want to live till I'm 99 The downward spiral has begun PAM AYRES - Interview Writer, comic, broadcaster, entertainer Pam Ayres is returning to Sydney for the first time in 9 years to perform one show only at Roslyn Packer Theatre on Saturday 14 March. U is for urinary and the difficulties that flow (or not) Others mark the moment of saying good-bye which happens during the committal. If I was going up for something, So I must say goodbye, my dear. by Pam Ayres Will I have to be sexy at sixty? When shopping I may see someone, by Pam Ayres. I met her a few years ago at a book launch. Time for us girls. The journey lasted, so many years, This is the resultant collection. The capsules tell me not to wheeze There’s quite an art to falling apart as the years go by, The moral of this as the tale unfolds, You see, we are the ‘oldies’ now. Saved by Monica M Barker Had to laugh, so so Pam Ayres. But, to me, that is no joke. When father time will have won Well, my get up and go has got up and went, Rushing hither and yon. Her poems take a humorous and honest look at life's pleasures and tribulations and includes such poems as Oh I Wish I'd Looked After me Teeth and Do You Think Bruce Springsteen Would Fancy Me?. But every morning I find I'm all right. Will I have to keep trying so hard? Instead of mailing you my letter, Retirement is just the next step in your life. you can take the misses out to party all night. by Pam Ayres. I walk to the store and puff my way back. PAM AYRES - Interview Writer, comic, broadcaster, entertainer Pam Ayres is returning to Sydney for the first time in 9 years to perform one show only at Roslyn Packer Theatre on Saturday 14 March. Where it is safe, but, Gee! Yes, I'm going to kill my husband, I shall have him to be sure, He's never going to curse my navigation any more. the good fortune to run into the ones I do, So if the ride gets bumpy,While you are looking back,Go up front, and you may find,Your life has jumped the track. Yorba Linda is a suburban city in the northeastern Orange County, California, approximately 13 miles (21 km) northeast of Downtown Santa Ana, and 40 miles (64 km) southeast of Downtown Los Angeles. . N is for nerve (pinched) and neck (stiff) and neurosis You can go to the movies for less than the rest. Give me another pill and I'll be good as new! You may release more than a tear. So strap me to the engine,As securely as I can be,I want to be out on the front,To see what I can see. My pulse is weak, my blood is thin, I could kick my heels as high as my head. My forgetter's getting better Pam Ayres' Poem. Before we got this old Or come to take some out? Z is for zest Just a line to say to say I'm living, Taken from You Made Me Late Again! . But in spite of it all I am able to grin. Some work well like a reading in saying something about the person who has died, the life they lived and their beliefs. The blue ones that I use a lot But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in. I want to feel the winds of change,Blowing in my face,I want to see what life unfolds,As I move from place to place. Countless memories, over time we have shared, Every day you showed that you cared. Pam Ayres' Poem Time for us girls I'm normally a social girl I love to meet my mates But lately with the virus here We can't go out the gates. Well I'm just going to slump, With my dowager's hump And watch myself turn into lard. A row of bottles on my shelf Now I'm still older, my slippers are black. It's, bingo, crib and cups of tea. . Looking back to Lockdown#1 from Lockdown#2. At times I put something away I'm wearing beige, and a cardigan The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. T is for tinnitus--I hear bells in my ears At the bottom of the stairs Guest about good old fashioned wholesome Christmas cheer. We need to stay inside. At age 20 we worry about what others think of us; She says that she wrote them to be proclaimed out loud with gusto. By Shirleypoppy. 18 comments. Jan 1, 2019 - Explore Elizabeth Edgecumbe's board "Pam Ayers - Poetry" on Pinterest. By Shirleypoppy. Jun 10, 2019 - Verses about everyday things that annoy or delight us all. Countless memories, over time we have shared, But what I'd really like to know . I'm normally a social girl. She will be performing poems from her new book Up In The Attic, published in September 2019, along with classic poems and stories from her long career.Recent TV appearances include Springwatch, Celebrity Mastermind, and Celebrity Antiques Road Trip. View credits, reviews, tracks and shop for the 1976 Vinyl release of Some Of Me Until the daily news proclaims: X is for X ray--and what one might find Goes to my heart so it won't stop. R is for reflux--one meal turns into two A brilliant poem as funny as all her poems are! At age 60 we realize that they haven't been thinking of us at all. Also see Growing Older, Growing Older - Humor and Adult Birthdays. So stop awhile and explore here or even let Pam bend your ear for we could all do with her cheer. The 71-year-old poet, comedian, songwriter and presenter first found fame with an appearance on Opportunity Knocks in 1975. This simple poem is no fancy award, We just hope, it hit the right chord. The 100 best friend poems written by true friends about friendship where you can find the top friendship poems for best friends and a girl friend. The classic poem which created the Santa Claus we all know and love, 'Twas The Night Before Christmas By Clement Clarke Moore and poems by Edgar A. In this episode we hear from the poet and performer Pam Ayres. by Pam Ayres. Fatal or just the flu? I'm overweight and I can't get thin, I’m off to read the obituary, like I do every day; It's ages since I've seen or heard anything of Pam Ayres. I love to meet my mates. As a senior citizen, you’ll be treated like royalty. B is for bad back, Funeral Poems for Mom. See more ideas about poetry, funny poems, poems. Is to tune my dial to radio two. Hopefully the choice of poems here will help to mark her passing in the way you feel is most appropriate. The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens, Choose a poem. Seldom woebegone. Fanthorpe’s “Christmas Poems”. Because of your free time, they all want your loyalty. Pam Ayres has been making the nation laugh for over 40 years. If they haven't seen us for a while. The Mother. Nerds? Some work well like a reading in saying something about the person who has died, the life they lived and their beliefs. But sometimes I wonder, as I get into bed. 18 comments. I'm normally a social girl. Pam is a wonder and her gentle humorous verses will have you chuckling. “It’s by Jan Beaumont.” Indeed, Beaumont originally posted the poem on Facebook on March 27. If your friend or relative was a straightforward sort of person with an appreciation for the darker variety of jokes, this could be the one. While my rememberer is broke, O is for osteo-for all the bones that crack Pam Ayres' Poem. Say "what am I here for?" A collection of the poetry of Pam Ayres, this book offers an amalgamation of all her published works. Hopefully the choice of poems here will help to mark her passing in the way you feel is most appropriate. I think of retirement beside the sea. There are times when it is dark . I'm not going to keep exercising, I'm not going to take HRT, If a toy boy enquires I'll say, "Hah! We need to stay inside. Than to let people know the shape we are in. think of all the discounts you’ll see. I busy myself with complete repetition. For surviving the symptoms my body's deployed, And I wish that you were here; Famous religious Christmas poems such as The Holy Night By Elizabeth Barrett Browning and The Holy Night By Elizabeth Barrett Browning. This is a list of the Whether looking for a way to reflect on your birthday or finding some words to celebrate a lover or friend, here are 15 birthday poems. When I was a young thing my slippers were red, When I think of the places my get up has been. “WOODLAND BURIAL”: a poem by Pam Ayers Don’t lay me in some gloomy churchyard shaded by a wall Where the dust of ancient bones has spread a dryness over all, I wrack my brain, but all in vain If you would like to own a web site like this and earn some extra money click here. Is that the early bird special on your plate? There will be a singing in your heart, There will be a rapture in your eyes; I forgot about K! Where's it gone, this life of mine Humanist funeral ceremonies focus on the person who has died – their story, their history, … Get the right poem for your girl friend or best friend on their birthday and more. The loss of a mother is incredibly difficult. or just getting out of bed; So if it's my turn to write you, Forced to face reality-- Drc726. Poem. Reply Delete. If my name is missing I know I'm not dead T’was the night before Christmas, when all through the Net, There were hacker’s a surfing. and the word 'terminal' also rings too near Train of Life Some folks ride the train of life,Looking out the rear,Watching miles of life roll by,And marking every year. But we all have them. Before we got this old The purple pill goes to my brain At age 40 we don't care what they think of us; Also by Pam Ayres. Sleep is denied me night after night, Oct 7, 2019 - Explore Brian Prince's board "Poems Pam Ayres", followed by 875 people on Pinterest. I get up each morning and dust off my wits, See more ideas about poems, verses, funny poems. See more ideas about poems, verses, funny poems. It’s also easy to incorporate poems where there is some mention of religious concepts into a humanist funeral, especially if the poet or the poem itself is significant to the deceased or how they lived. Poet Pam Ayres is a bit of a national treasure. They'll never know the things we did. I may think that I have written (But forgive me, I get a few lapses in my And, when I try to think it through, But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in. We can't go out the gates. younger than me! Relative Values: poet Pam Ayres and her sister, Jean Hall, on going from “fighting like cats” to being lifelong friends. Or cough or choke or even sneeze. I love to meet my mates. ... poems. Pam Ayres poems, quotations and biography on Pam Ayres poet page. S is for sleepless nights, Jan 1, 2019 - Explore Elizabeth Edgecumbe's board "Pam Ayers - Poetry" on Pinterest. Now here I stand beside the mailbox, So much passion and dedication, . G is for gas (which I'd rather not mention-- Looking directly at me and as if hearing my thoughts Pam responded with her opening poem; But Don’t Kiss Me. Margaret D Tuesday, 8 December 2020 at 21:38:00 GMT+11. I ask myself, "who was that?". But my rememberer is broke H is high blood pressure Yeah, you bet. Pam Ayres has waded into the Donald Trump p*ssy-grabbing row in her own unique way - by penning a poem imagining the first meeting between him and Theresa May. Best if you hear her deliver them - I just love her voice. And life doesn’t begin at 40. The few teeth I have are beginning to rot. I will always remember her infectious sense of humour. I want to ask a favour of the friends that I might meet, ... Pam Ayres appeared at Swindon Arts Centre on Monday, May 14, 6.30pm. We need laughter in our lives just now and Pam is a master at this. 16 Nov, 2020. Y is for year (another one, I'm still alive). Just want to wish you only the best, My memory's failing, my head's in a spin. They Should Have Asked My Husband Down The Line Yes I’ll Marry You My Dear Woodland Burial They Should Have Asked My Husband. In the October 5 issue of “The People’s Friend”, I had the chance to chat to Pam Ayres about her poetry and her new book, “Up In The Attic”.. We talked for so long that we didn’t have space for the whole interview in the magazine. Gardening with friends since 9 Aug, 2009. And that isn't any joke. Some people love them. W is worry, for pains yet unfound Jean and I have had a deep bond our whole lives. This simple poem is no fancy award, We just hope, it hit the right chord. There's nothing the matter with me, "Is there anything else I can put on the shelf?" D is for dental decay and decline, My hair’s getting thinner, my body is not: birth-day by Lucille Clifton And I don't want to be a bore. counting fears on how to pay my medical bills! The person it is safest from by Pam Ayres, published by Ebury Press, price £16.99. Pam is a wonder and her gentle humorous verses will have you chuckling. See more ideas about poems, funny poems, verses. Others mark the moment of saying good-bye which happens during the committal. C is for the chest pains. He takes it all for granted, but tonight I can relax, For the minute he complains, I shall whop him with the axe. P is for prescriptions, that cost a small fortune Funeral Poems for Mom. They'll think we've upped and died. The red ones, smallest of them all Recent posts by Shirleypoppy. retiree. How do I know that my youth is all spent? Ere sleep dims my eyes I say to myself So, "Let's Party"..